


He’s What?

by PrinnPrick



Series: LeonCloud [10]
Category: FF - Fandom, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts, kh - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Funny, M/M, Not To Be Taken Too Seriously, Strifehart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: Cloud Strife can’t be dating a guy... can he?
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Squall Leonhart, Cloud/Leon, Cloud/Leon/Squall, Cloud/Squall
Series: LeonCloud [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1354441
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	He’s What?

“Is Cloud gay?” Tifa seemed genuinely shocked by the question, if the way her eyes widened and blinked was any indication. “I’ve known Cloud nearly all our lives, and he’s only ever been aggressive and cold with other men. But women? He takes every chance he can to flirt or show off when anyone with breasts appears. I even caught him more than once trying to watch the girls at the Honey Bee undress.

“I can say with full confidence Cloud definitely prefers women, and is a total pervert at that.” Despite her somewhat harsh words, she giggled to herself. “Though, if he did like a man...” Her cheeks turned pink. “I’d be surprised, but wouldn’t mind.”

*****

“Cloud? _Gay_? Well, what if he was? Who cares?” Cid shrugged and crossed his arms. “You just wanted to know if I think he is? Why? The fuck does it matter? Let a man live his damn life...

“But for the record, I doubt it. He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is; when a lady walks by, his eyes—her ass.”

*****

“Cloud didn’t seem gay, but it’s not like I would know,” Sora said with a shrug. “I don’t really get to talk to him that much. It's mostly watching him from the side-lines. I don't mind, though! Last time I saw him he was awesome! He was fighting off a bunch of heartless and he pulled out his Buster sword and went—“ 

Sora proceeded to summon his keyblade and he tossed it around in some semblance of a remembered battle. 

“And then he—and they—! It was cool!” He breathed a sigh, and the grin he had sported was now a soft frown. “I wanna fight him again, but he keeps saying no.” Sora huffed. 

*****

“Well, I only met him once or twice,” Merlin chuckled. “However, he didn’t seem the overly happy type... What do you mean ‘what do you mean’? You asked if I thought he was gay, didn’t you?”

*****

“Cloud? Cloud’s’a sonuva bitch SOLDIER who likes to pretend he don’t care for shit,” Barret huffed/complained. “He’s good at hidin’ who he is, but the way he preens like a damn peacock when he impresses some woman ain’t a secret. Not to mention the stupid shit he does to be in the limelight in the first place.”

*****

“Cloud is gay? Since when?” Yuffie seemed to consider something as she tapped her chin and hummed. “I never noticed anything like that, and I’m pretty sharp—if I do say so myself!”

The young ninja planted her hands on her hips, thrust out her chest, and smirked wide. 

“Besides, Spikes is as straight as a board. I’m pretty sure he has a thing for me.”

*****

“... Who’s Cloud?” Riku asked without bothering to look up from his phone. He had one arm about his waist as he leaned against the wall with a look of utter boredom. “Try someone who, you know, has met the guy?

“But who cares if he’s gay? As long as he doesn’t try hitting on Sora I could care less.”

*****

"Why have you violated the sanctity of my domicile?” Vincent didn't seem terribly pleased to be disturbed. He wore fuzzy, black slippers and had a paper in hand. "What does Cloud's sexuality have to do with your electing to invite yourself in to where you were not given admittance? First the ninja keeps breaking in to steal my bagels, which she bought me, and now you. Choose not to be so nosy and exit."

*****

"... You mean the emo child with spiky blonde hair?" Scrooge was adjusting the temperature of his ice-cream cart, before pushing his glasses just a little further up his beak. "Yes, he may be in his late twenties, but he's still a child. You, too, matter of fact! All you youngsters think age is what makes you old... Ha! You're all still emotional and dumb, and you'll be that way a while. You'll be kids compared to us truly old folks a long time yet.

"As for what tickles the boy's loins, I suggest you stay out of it! Gay or nay, it's his business."

*****

"... I wouldn't have believed it myself, if we didn't just have sex," Leon replied casually with a shrug as the aforementioned blonde slapped an embarrassed hand to his face and groaned about Leon's lack of subtley. "What position is he?"

But before Leon could answer, and the smile of absolute evil he had given had been an indicator he was going to, Cloud covered his mouth with both hands, stared right into the camera and said:

"I do prefer women... I just happen to also be Leon-sexual. Now go bother someone else."


End file.
